i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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