Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
