On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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