Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
