One girl and one boy is just not enough.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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