it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Randomize
