You work out of a Hotel?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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