Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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