you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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