My cat gives me a boner
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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