Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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