I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
