I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
