my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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