So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Randomize
