So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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