i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
