its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
