I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
her vagine was all disorganized.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize