Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
