S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I need to align my fucking chakras
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
