ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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