So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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