Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize