dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
