I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
