Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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