I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I'm really busy with my period
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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