i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
