ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
