On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
