My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize