I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
