We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
