i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
