This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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