What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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