I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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