is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize