3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You dont lie about slip and slides
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize