dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
