he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
