I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
