your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I think I died a long time ago.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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