i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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