I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
