like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
As shirtless as possible
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize