Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
