dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
