she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
