DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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