I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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