I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
