Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Enjoy the penises
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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