Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
