i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
