We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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