normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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