i just had sex bonerless
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize