yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
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