It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Randomize
