She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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