that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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