Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
