Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
