I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
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