her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize
