this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
