I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
