he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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