Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
