Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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