so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
